Monster Mash: It’s a Social Business Smash

Monsters on Bench

Old Hallow’s Eve is merely upon us. The townspeople have gathered together to stand and fight against the entities ravaging our lands. Some, in the older districts, have fought off Social Business Vampires, while others, trapped in the mad doctor’s region banded together with torches against the Frankenstein CRM. Fear got the best of some as they headed out on Social Business Witch Hunts while some simply accepted the new order and learned how to deal with the transformation.

There will always be creatures, zombiesghosts and cults, but those of us that have survived have noticed an onslaught coming our way. It seems monsters don’t attack one at a time. In life, they all attack at once.

We’ve banded together in the local community center and have put together a plan of attack for when the hordes come at us. If you’d like to read it, check it out below and may God have mercy on your soul.

Social Business Monster Attack Plan

Wave 1: The Undead

Even in the Bible, the end of times is predicated by the dead walking the earth. Once the dead start getting up and sauntering into local pizza parlors and soda shops, it’s pretty safe to refer to them as undead and you’ll notice this change taking place in your hallways and conference rooms. Glass-eyed zombies will roam the halls and business outreach programs will have the life of a week-old rutabaga left in the sun.

Social Business Zombies exist as a walking juxtaposition: aside from the fact that they’re dead and walking around, the exist to let you know a change is necessary while at the same time impeding that change from being able to take place. It’s hard to breathe new life into systems when all the components of those systems no longer have life.

What’s even more, if that during the attack of the undead, Vampires also will be attacking. They are feeding off these old systems and intend on stopping your forward progression.

Attack Plan: The good news is that both zombies and vampires have achilles’ heels and you can use them in this first wave to survive. Zombies lack active brains and must be attended to through informational training programs and the introduction of small system changes to re-engage their activity levels within the company. Start six months before the major change is going to actually start and hold informational sessions based around the exciting things coming, ramping those up into training sessions on new system changes.

When it comes to the vampires, have your arsenal of Holy Water from an authority figure, high stakes and an unwavering business plan. They’ll come at you hard, but if you stand firm, you’ll survive this first wave of attack.

Wave 2: The Dead

After the undead attack, the dead will come back. The transitionary period will have started in your organization and from that will disturb ghosts of systems’ past and the creation of Frankenstein monsters. Wave 2 is hard to combat because you simultaneously have to fight and resist fighting.

Frankenstein CRMs will do untold damage to your team members and their communities and must be met with force. You have to stand up to the mad scientist’s demands and drive the beast out with fire, but while doing that, you have to acknowledge the ghosts that your forward progress has unearthed and listen to what they might have to tell you. It’s a tricky balance, but a necessary one.

Attack Plan: Bring with you FIRE (Features, Intent, Review, Eliminate) to your battle with the Frankenstein monster, once deconstructed to it’s parts, the monster doesn’t hold as much fear and can be eliminated. As for the ghosts, come to them slowly and listen. Stand firm in your Social Business Strategy (assuming you’ve written one by now, if not, get on it) for progress and once the ghosts realize the best interests of the company are at heart, they will imart their wisdom and leave.

Wave 3: Living Horrors

I know you’re tired, but hang in there. This may be the hardest wave yet to fight because you’ll be fighting attacks from inside as well as from outside. By now you’re trying to go through your Social Business trasformation, turning fully into a Social WereBusiness. The transformation can be long and painful and most of your energy will be focused on simply surviving.

What makes this stage hard is that for all the internal strife in dealing with your transformation, you will be getting attacked from those outside of your organization for housing new magic. They will band together and hold Social Business Witch Hunts, throwing stones and lighting torches and making this time of transformation even more painful. It will cause doubts and leave you broken, bloody and just praying for the end.

Attack Plan: The only thing to do in this wave is to stand firm. By now you’ve written detailed business plans, decided on metrics and KPIs, and have a post-change strategy complete with internal structure charts and daily/weekly/quarterly tactics for success. Stand your ground and these pains will pass.

Wave 4: The Final Scare

Just like in the best horror movies, right when you think everything is going to be fine, there’s still one more horror waiting around the corner to give you a fright. Once you’ve set up your social processes, internal systems and training times, you’ll have the creatures from the Black Hat Lagoon crawl out of the darkness in search of your blood.

They’ll come promising wealth and happiness and like the sirens of Greek mythology, their song will sound very sweet. Don’t get to close though, because they will surely be your undoing. Approach these creatures with care and never turn your back on them.

Attack Plan: Murder these creatures with all your might. Turn them away from your lands and never approach them lightly. Continually educate yourself on the trends and tactics of the industry and know what you’re fighting.

If you follow these attack plans, you should come out of the war with few major injuries. Don’t for one second think that you’ll come out unscathed. There will be casualties and pains, but you WILL survive, especially if you follow the plans of those that have survived in the past.

Good luck and Happy Fighting.







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One Response to Monster Mash: It’s a Social Business Smash
  1. [...] had a wonderfully insightful series that ran during the Halloween season and it would be a shame to not highlight this time of [...]

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